Illusions of Bliss by Mikyla Jarrett

Challenges, are something everyone encounters, but few excel to defeat them.  My challenge was the worst.  I have always done well in school, whether it be my grades or my conduct I was always a good girl.  I always dreamed of doing well in life and nothing was going to stop me.  I always do my best and accept a challenge; however, I'm quiet.

From elementary to the beginning of my high school years school was easy!  The work and teachers were easy -- I never felt stressed.  I have had the best high school years and it can only get better.  However, when I confronted challenging academic courses I was almost defeated.   As a student, I never had to work hard -- it just came to me; all that changed when I was welcomed to the world of AP.

The work in college level courses no longer gave me time to breathe -- it no longer came easy.  There were challenging questions that I struggled to understand and yet, I remained quiet.  I thought I could do AP work because I was always up for a challenge, but in reality, at that time in my life, I was looking for the easy way out.  The easy path is why I stayed in honors and regular level classes through the "easy" half of my high school career.  However, when I was faced with challenge of AP coursework -- I was done! Half-way through my first year of AP courses I felt I couldn't go on.

However, I remembered something that happened at my brother's baseball game.  At the game, there was a man who happened to be a teacher.  He asked how school was going and I gave my usual response, "fine".  Then, he asked what classes I was taking -- I responded and "regular and honors".

He asked  "why" and I told him that is where my teachers placed me.  Then I remembered I was recommended for AP classes, so I must belong there or they would not have made the recommendations.  He explained the reason I didn't want to assume my place in AP was because I felt I didn't belong.  I knew the work the AP kids did was crazy! THEY were shining, bright, stars at the top and I was content in the middle.  For me, it was the easiest place with the least challenge.

At that moment I realized he was right.  I was the fool in my own game of life.  I thought I was trying so hard, but in reality, I wasn't.  When it got hard I was ready to quit!  I belong with the stars and earned the right to be placed with them.  I could not give up -- it was not my nature to do so.  If I was put there that is where I belong.

Self-doubt taught me that the only one who can defeat me was/is me!  I can't give up, nor can I let my star at the top be dimmed and will not allow my voice to be silenced.  Being quiet, not asking questions, is not the way to get through life.  That one conversation shattered my illusion of bliss.